kingfu.co.uk

Bullshit & Ignorance

October 22, 2012

Oh look a post

Yeah. I know. I haven’t posted in fucking ages. Had other stuff to do. However, I was sat at my PC doing webby stuff recently and so decided to write some stuff here, since doing so will no doubt massively improve the mean average quality of the internet in general. Seriously.

So what have I been up to the last however-the-fuck many months it’s been I hear you say? Mostly I’ve been shooting people. I get paid to do it these days. It’s pretty excellent. Training with various law enforcement agencies in these here You-knighted states. I get to be the bad guy. So they’re all “HEY YOU STOP THAT” and I’m all BLAMBLAMBLAM. I’d be more specific about it, but I signed an agreement to say I wouldn’t be, because they don’t want people knowing what happens in their training scenarios. Trust me though, it’s fun.

Also there are goats now. I don’t think there were goats the last time I wrote stuff here. There may have been, but I’m too lazy to look at previous posts. So yeah. Goats. They eat stuff and shit a lot. They also give us milk, which can become cheese. Just so you know, the goat milk/cheese you buy that tastes like arse is pasturised. There’s a protein in it that breaks down at the temperatures used to pasturise milk that adds that arse flavour. Rather than drink arse-flavoured milk, we just test the goats for the diseases that pasturising gets rid of. So we have milk that tastes of milk, not arse and don’t die of TB or anything. Good shit, hey?

Man. I tell you when I first started this blog I didn’t ever expect to a) be talking about goats or b) use the word pasturise anywhere so much.

What else? Hrm… oh yeah. Was my birthday on the 19th. There should have been a parade or something.

I helped to harass the chief sports writer (or whatever his fucking job title is) of Swindon’s local rag into asking an experienced diplomat who recently became Chairman of Swindon Town F.C. what his favourite cheese was. I consider that a great victory for all mankind.

Obviously there’s been other stuff too. I’m just too lazy to tell you about it.